If you are like me, intolerant of domestic abuse of any kind, then you must have wondered at one point or the other why any woman would stay in an abusive relationship or marriage.

For those of us on the outside, it is so obvious what the right thing to do is. The woman should leave because if she doesn’t, he will kill her, even if he ‘never means to do it’.

Yet, the number of women who stay in abusive relationships is quite high, so it got me wondering the reason. I did a bit of research and carried out a poll. I discovered that there are several legitimate reasons why a woman would stay in an abusive relationship.

1. Financial dependence on the abuser

Abusers are very meticulous in their approach. While many assume that abuse is just something that happens in the heat of the moment, it is actually more methodical than that. It is about the power play, and the one who controls the money has more power. Look at the way the world works and how Africa is consistently dependent on foreign aids. 

Abused women are usually financially dependent on their abusers and if they leave, they are confronted with the uncertainty of how to take care of themselves.

2. Children

Most of our mothers stayed in terrible marriages simply because they did not want to leave their children behind. They did not want to abandon the children and sometimes, they feared what the abuser might do to the children in their absence.

3. Religious beliefs

Religion has got to be one of the most potent killers in some societies. Too many women have been taught that divorce is evil and while Christianity does not condone it, they forget that God is even more merciful and loving. Also, clergymen tell them that the true proof of their faith is patience!

I’ll stop here for now and let you ruminate…

source: Lady Naija

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