THE HEART’S DOOR

Photo: www.shespeakes.com

BY: Rana Ajeeb Rahman

26 November, 2016

Heart’s Door
        My heart was feeling anxious and beating fast. It was the cold night of 26 November, 2016, and I was alone on the bed under the blanket and in the slight dark room. My eyes were at stopped fan; my mind was thinking about my door of heart, but it was closed. Behind it there were happiness, dreams, love and a beautiful world. But I needed the key to enter into that world, and that key was my beloved girlfriend, Dua.The word ‘Dua’ means in English ‘Pray’. She studies with me in my school. She is slim, innocent, and cute.
 
I was fallen in love with her, but she did not know. I had talked her as a best friend about three months before on Facebook Messenger, but I had never talked her face to face and never expressed my feelings with her. I have only one place to talk her and that is our school, but there are stick rules for this type of situation, so I think that she is afraid of school.  
 
At that night, I was feeling anxiously to say her everything. I was rolling on the bed as fish rolls on the land without water, and I was praying, “Oh Allah! Give me one opportunity to express my love, my feelings and my heart’s pain to her.”
 
At that situation I messaged to my best friend and also a class mate, “Hey, bro.” He replied me quickly, “Yes, bro. Are you okay?” In reply I texted him my condition of that time. He consoled me, “Bro, don’t worry. It will be right, and if you will be given an opportunity to talk her, you will have to explain each and everything. I answered “Broo! I am anxious to express my deep love for her.” Then, I sent him last message, “Okay, bro Allah hafiz.” I was only thinking about her: her beauty, her smile, her face, and her innocence.
 
At that time only prayers were outing from my mouth, “Oh my God! If I am not able to her, make me able. If she is not able to me, make her able. Oh my Creator! If she is not for me, make her for me forever. If I am not for her, make me for her forever.” After these all things, I was feeling that my God agreed with me, so I was happy about this but anxious for her. So, I promised with myself, “Whatever happens, I will tell her about my love in morning.” After remembering my God and her, I closed my eyes and went to sleeping world.
           
As the morning fell, the birds had freed to find food for their families, and they were freed to prove their love for family. By the happiest sound of birds, I was awakened. As I awoke, first I remembered my beloved God then I remembered my life, my smile of face and my key of happy world, Dua.
 
 
I was happy because on that day I was going to express my feelings which I have for a long time. I was preparing for school happily, and after that I went to school. I was only thinking about her in class, and all periods were finishing, but I was waiting for that golden opportunity.
 
At the end of school time I went out with my best friend from class for a while time. We both were waiting for her, but it was looking that she would not come. During waiting, he said, “Bro! I think she will not come.” I replied, “Bro! No she will come! I know my God. He will not disappoint me.” As I said this, Dua appeared. She was coming from the upstairs. As we saw, he said, “Wow! Bro, it is like a magic. She has come at the right time as you say.” I smiled and said, “Yeah bro.” As she came close to us, my friend said and went out, “Good luck!”   
 
As she passed by me, I called her, “Excuse me!” My heart was beating fast as train runs. On other hand I was feeling happy.
She stopped and turned back and said with innocence voice, “Yes.”
I replied quickly, “I have to say something.”
I was totally confused that how I express because I had not talked her face to face ever.
I was silent for some moment, and she was also looking some nervous. After that moment, she uttered, “What do you want to say? Please say quickly!” During saying, her eyes were not at me. I think she was ashamed because she was also talking first time and that shyed eyes were playing the role of respect and in that respect I wanted to kiss her sweet hand.  
 
I replied with confusion, “Dua, I want to talk with you only five minutes but not here! Can you we talk on Messenger?” I could not express my feelings at that time, so I ask her to come at Messenger.
She answered, “No sorry! I am not on the Messenger now days.” He continued, “And yes! Don’t talk anything in school, please.”
After saying that, she turned back and began to go. As she was going away from me, I was feeling that my happiness, my world, and my beats of heart were leaving me, and my soul was forcing me to stop her then I called her from her back , “Listen Dua!” she stopped but did not turn back to me.  
 
I went some near to her and continued, “Dua! Don’t forget me! Think about me, please.”  She listened and continued going, and I was looking at her. I was feeling happy that at least I had talked with her first time, but I could not express my feelings and my pain for her. After that moment, I went to class and sat with my friend.
He said, “What happened bro?”
I replied, “I have talked with her, but I have not expressed my feelings.”
He asked, “Why?
I answered, “I felt hardship to tell her and said her to talk with me on Messenger for five minutes, but she ignored.
He said, “I think just it was the right chance.”
“Bro! Allah gave that chance and only He is who will give the next chance and will give me Dua ” I answered.
 
My all time of school spent in thinking of her pretty face. As I reached at home, I changed my dress then I spent some time in the prayer of Allah. I prostrated for the God and prayed for her with my soul, “Oh! Allah! I am thankful of you that You gave me courage for speaking to her, for stand in front of her and for seeing her roseate face. Please give her safe and happy life.”
 After that relax able time, Irosewood mayakoba laid on the bed and began to think about that moment.  Her respect full, shaming eyes and innocence face were killing me. That scene was playing in my mind continuously. Her sweet voice had melted my heart as fire melts candle. Now the pain, for spend my all life in her arms, was grew more. In that pain I wrote some lines for her and about love. When I was writing these lines, my tears were continuously flowing; my heart was firing in the love of her.
 
“I want to cry because someone has come to console me.
 I want to flow tears because someone has come to wipe them.
 I want to be happy because someone has come to participate in my happiness. Oh! Allah, make her and me        one. Make our life for one another.
Oh! Allah, I f I am not able to her, make me able. Oh! Allah, make us true lover for one another. But Allah,         don’t get us to forget you. We want to live under your shade because if you are, we are. If you agree with us,     this world agrees with us.”
 
 
HOW WE FALL IN LOVE

“Our eyes fall in love when they see to whom for they are born.
 
Our ears fall in love when they hear the voice of whom for they are born.
 
Our heart falls in love when it feels near to whom for it is born.
 
Our breath falls in love when they strike with breath of whom for they are born.
And we only bear their sorrows and happiness because these all things are given to us.
 
But I wonder! That these all things are waiting anxiously for one person.
And these all are born for one person.”
 
 
 
“Oh! Livers of this busy world, God has placed a true lover for you in this world. Who wants to care you from      heart, who wants to participate in your celebrations, sorrows and in your every problem. So, find him quickly      because this life is given for only one time.
 
“If a writer falls in love with you, you will never die” Dedicate to You (…)
 
26 November, 2016

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